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Unbreaking News: Amazon Is Not About To "Shut Down its India Operations". It is as Likely to be Indicted for Fraud


Please. Let’s calm the Eff Down, Okay. There are headlines going around saying Amazon might shut down because, and please breathe deeply or you’ll bust a blood vessel, they said it’s a potential risk of that given India’s laws.

And that was part of a prospectus that Amazon filed, where it has to write things like this, for regulatory reasons. If the regulators had their way, they would ask Amazon and other companies to spell out what they would do in case a rogue nuclear missile landed on their headquarters the day they had a board meeting and called CEOs from all banks and partners there.

So effectively, the funda is that Amazon could shut down approximately the same way you *could* die of a sneeze that whiplashed enough to sever your spinal cord. I’m sure it’s possible, but I swear you would be one unlucky soul.

Regulators need companies to tell people risks, but that doesn’t become a sure thing; and while it’s perfectly fine for some website to weasel out behind the excuse that “well, they still *might* be kicked out of India” – it also means that someone else has to get on to the other side and say “give us what you’re smoking”.

The other risk factors – like Medianama says – include things like “We face Intense Competition”. This would translate to “Amazon is afraid of Flipkart“.

Or, “The Loss of Key Senior Management Personnel Could Negatively Affect Our Business” can become “En mass resignations from Amazon’s top management team will hurt Company Profit“.

Or, “We Could Be Liable for Fraudulent or Unlawful Activities of Sellers” becomes “Amazon Might Be Indicted for Fraud“.

You get the drift.

India is full of sensationalism. Probably the world, too. The success of Arnab tells you that, although he’s one that can be smart and docile. That he chooses to be loud and sensationalist is telling; it’s the “sansani” (hindi for “overdramatization”) that sells.

Over the weekend I was astounded about how sensationalist things were:

  • Robert Vadra showed away the microphone of an interviewer because he didn’t like the question. He has every right to, if you shove a mic into his face. I don’t like him but we have to get him for stuff that’s bloody real, like the CAG report recently – but that got less airtime than his mic-shove.
  • Priyanka Gandhi was supposedly called an “item girl” of politics by Rajdeep Sardesai. This is a problem, how? Plus, at best it only insults item girls.
  • Some outrage about Swiss Black Money. Come on folks, we know that a) most people who sell houses have black money , in India and b) the black money isn’t in those swiss accounts anymore after we made a public show of saying we knew about that for the last one year. But still, three names and some drama.

At Capital Mind, we are hitting our heads on the wall and thinking, “why can’t we be more sensational?” Would it be wonderful if we only had amazing but totally false headlines? And make so much more money while we sucker you into coming and seeing how “ICICI’s profits hurt as customers deposit money at high rates“?

We leave you to shudder in horror while we consider going down this route.

But we won’t. Other than once in a while…


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