The story about Greece and international stock markets.
Greece needs a bailout.
Reaction: OH MY GOD! All the banks in the world will die! We have to find them the money! The stock markets are going to collapse! RISK OFF!
[World stock Markets plunge]
Greece gets a bailout package of gargantuan proportions, in return for cutting its own nuts off; big time austerity, job losses, recession.
Okay, nothing to see here. Big deal, that Greece was. Haha. Er. Yes, yes, good time to invest. Put your money back in. RISK ON!
[World Markets recover like crazy]
Greeks don’t like it, they protest, they fight.
Whatever. They must face the consequence of their actions. RISK STAYS ON.
[Markets keep going up]
Greece needs ANOTHER bailout, and it hasn’t even adhered to the conditions of the first bailout.
What? How bad is it? They have time only till December? All the banks will die! RISK OFF!
[Sound of world markets plunging down toilet]
Greek gets ANOTHER bailout, even as each country protests, acquiesces, retracts, threatens and finally caves in, to what is a 440 million euro bailout, which can be even more but no one knows the details. Except some people are going to voluntarily accept only half the money they lent to Greece.
Ve kan’t bail the Greeks out! Oh, ve must? Or our banks go bust? Ok. Will. Ze banks, they are our life, we will protect them. RISK ON! Slovakia can overturn the decision? RISK OFF! They didn’t? RISK ON! Greece has a confidence vote? RISK OFF. But they won? RISK ON.
[Insane volatility. European markets behave like they have hormonal imbalances, going up 4 or 5% every day and then crashing down that much.]
Greek PM Papandreau realizes the bailout kills the future of his people who are totally pissed off with him. He says they’ll need a referendum.
Markets tank because no Greek in his right mind will want the austerity, they are likely to choose to default. RISK OFF!
Greek PM might lose majority vote, then no referendum!
RISK ON.
Papandreau: The referendum I mentioned…
RISK OFF.
Papandreau: is hereby cancelled…
RISK ON.
Papandreau: But…
RISK OFF
…we can’t ignore Europe…
RISK ON
…or our people….
RISK OFF
…so yes…
RISK ON
…(sneeze)…
RISK OFF
…Oh I’m just fucking with you guys. Haha.
[Sound of algorithmic trading software committing suicide]
